The Rotten Mother's Club

Calling all bad Mothers.  You know who you are.  We've met.  Our paths crossed in the checkout line remember?  We met at the library and at that business lunch.  Oh yeah, the jewelry party and again at church.  Yeah, we met.  Our kids are the ones with sideways planks up their rear ends.  Isn't it amazing how God can cross our paths, just in the knick of time when we are sulking and feeling bad for our wicked ways.  We are reminded that we are not in this thing alone........there are skads of us, in every town, all across the world.

I read in the paper the other day that if the worth of a Mother was calculated in wages, a stay at home Mom is worth $115,432 per year.  If you are the Mom who worked outside the home, your Mother pay is worth $63,472 per year.  Now this is in addition to what you earned at your job and all based on current figures at Salary.com.  I am a bit baffled actually on how the Mom that works outside the home gets almost half the Mother pay.  Hmmmmm...........don't Moms who work outside the home actually work harder at home to make up for the lost time at the job?  Oh well, doesn't matter.  What about rotten Moms'?  Do we have to take a cut in pay?  Is it retroactive?  Because I am certainly not to proud to take a cut in pay, I've been laid off for a year and a half.  Let's look at the numbers.  If a bad Mom gets half the pay of a Mom who works outside the home, that equals $31,786 per year.  If we get retro-active pay I'm looking at $888,608.  Hey, that's almost a million bucks.  Not a bad wage for being a crappy mother.  Sign me up. Oh wait...........where on earth is this money coming from?  Who is forking over the dough here?  Don't tell me; it's hypathetical.  Oh well. 

I say we start a club.  The Rotten Mothers club.  We can meet monthly to share our tidbits of days gone by, our favorite family recipes and birthday party ideas that were a smashing hit, how to use cookie cutters to remove the crust from our childs toast each morning and how to put a new twist on a jello desssert.  We can exchange tips on how to keep backpacks organized, notes signed, homework done and classroom treats managed. We can share laundry tips, time management skills, entertainment strategies, taxi service and gas saving techniques, what to do with a whiny one.    Someone needs to mentor the up-and-coming bad mothers. 

We are in this thing together ladies.  All you rotten moms out there, let's meet again.  In the meantime, we can love and celebrate our own mothers.  Aren't they wonderful!