Shrinkage

If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s a liar.  Crybabies are annoying too, but that would make it two things I can’t stand.  Let’s take a look at liars today.  I am one.  No lie.  But I am an inadvertent liar.  Does that make it better? 

My driver’s license states that I am 5’4” tall.   I have believed this lie my entire adult life.  I even swear by it with my mother. She always declares that she is taller than me, but I have the photographs to prove otherwise. Besides, I always thought the height lie was a guy thing.

So where does the height lie begin? I am probably wrong here, but I think when you turn 16 years old, you go to the Secretary of State with your parent and become inducted into the adult world of road rage and buying gasoline.

During your initial visit to the secretary of state I recall standing up against the wall and there is that white measurement tape thingy indicating how tall you are (like the one they have at all the 7-11 stores for criminal identification), then they take your picture and in 7-10 days you received your driver’s license.   What am I missing here?

Not that it matters, nor have I ever put that much emphasis on how tall I was.  I mean seriously, what is the diff between 5’4” and 5’ 2¾”?  The problem is the legitimacy of your legal document.  What if I got pulled over by the police and was asked to get out of my car?  Let’s say they are glancing at my license and notice my height statement.  Then during the interrogation if you will, they realize I am not 5’4” – then what?  Just sayin.

Was I ever 5’4”?  When did I shrink?  How does this happen?  I have been looking in the mirror for two days and I do not see a grandma hump on my back.  My shoulders aren’t shrugging forward.  I don’t get it.    I guess it’s true, I am living proof.  We shrink with age.  A little pre-mature in my opinion but none the less.   I have never been a stiletto girl and I don’t intend to start now. 

I am officially coming forward to say that I am not 5’4”.  I am 5’2 ¾” tall.  And that’s the truth.