I really enjoy clichés. I think up a few of my own from time to time, they're fun. One of my favorites: YA GOTTA LOOK GOOD! This one can apply to every single thing in your life. Say your car is a ‘beater’ – no big deal, just make sure it’s clean and give it purpose by putting unique bumper stickers all over it – creating a community icon. Having a bad hair day? Golf visors work miracles – now you are trendy. The only jeans you own are stained. No problem, iron them with a crease down the middle – now you are shabby chic. Do you have fat arms that sway back and forth? NO BIG DEAL, seriously. Tan those babies up. Everything looks better tanned. The tan lines give the wiggly underarm sway less prominence, and, you will look good in your sleeveless blouse. My daughter once said “if you can’t tone it, tan it” and she is right. If you live in a shack – doll it up. If you are feeling sad – smile. If you have bad teeth, or no teeth – don’t smile. The list goes on for miles. If you can’t think of one, let me know, I will think for you.
Have you noticed the growing trend in women’s undergarments? Namely – shapewear. This stuff is supposed to make us “look good”. It doesn’t hide the thickness of the waistline – aka: fat, it simply smoothes out the lumps. Unless of course you get something two sizes too small. Once you sausage yourself into one of these contraptions, you do actually look 10 pounds thinner. You will also need a size larger shoes, and, make sure your neck is tanned.
This past Saturday I was preparing mentally for a fun night out with Smyth. We were going on our very own Shaggy and Scooby expedition to capture Orbs in the night with our camera. My mantra being “ya gotta look good”, I was dwelling on what to wear. What does one wear to an Orb shoot? All I could think of was a one piece black cat suit. Smyth mentioned that black is slimming, and who couldn’t use that kind of allusion. The closest thing to a cat suit I could think of is one of those wet suits that the skiers wear. Then it hit me – SHAPEWEAR! Okay, I did not do this thing. I ended up wearing shorts and flip flops. Turns out I was a big fat scaredy cat that night, lurking through the cemetery with our cameras – but my hair looked good and two of our photos had Orbs. And we laughed. I felt like a kid on an adventure.
These days I’m busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest, so I best get dolled up for the day and get the ball rolling. Speaking of looking good, you should see my brothers’ grass, it’s an art form - he can't help it.
